Lesbianism is becoming a very popular phenomenon with the community having its own language. For those wondering what being a lesbian is, a lesbian is a woman who loves other women and is sexually attracted to other women. Lesbians are not at all attracted to men whether or not there is a woman around.

As a young lesbian or someone new to the lesbian community, it is normal to find yourself lost during discussions in a group or social outing. Like any other community, the lesbian community has some shared terms used in describing their roles, identities, and behaviours. The amount of information to learn as a new lesbian can be overwhelming and exhausting. Here is a list of some of the most commonly used lesbian terms that allows for easy communication within the community and you are sure to never get lost in communication again.

Dyke – it is another word for lesbian and is sometimes used as a derogative term. And just like the N word, lesbians have reclaimed the term and is now a term of strength and power with only people in the community allowed to use it.

Baby Dyke – this refers to a young lesbian or someone new to lesbianism and is often immature.

Drag King – this term is used to refer to a woman that dresses like a man often in a performance.

Butch – this is a lesbian with masculine appearance and manners and often identifies with stereotypically masculine activities.

Femme – this is a lesbian with feminine appearance and manners and is often identifies with activities famous with the feminine folks.

Lip Stick Lesbian – a lipstick lesbian is similar to a femme but with even more feminine features and characters.

MTF – this is a male that has transitioned into a woman. They are referred to as trans woman. Some don’t support their inclusion in the LGBT community.

Sapphic – this is related to the Poet Sappho who was a lyrical Poet from the Island of Lesbos. Her poems had female homosexuality theses and the term was derived from the word Lesbos.

There are several other terms used in the lesbian community. Some of those terms are soft bunch and gold star or star lesbian.

A good understanding of these terms and the language of the lesbian community can be very helpful especially of you are just joining the community. This is allows for easy and effective communication.

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It is fast becoming a hot topic and a fast trending one at that to see women previously leaving their husbands to be with other women. Several reasons and factors have been attributed to this trend. Some people say women turn to other women in middle ages because the older men are going for younger women, leaving the older women with no one.

Other say these women fall in love with a person who happens to be a female and these feelings has nothing to do with the gender of the other party as they do not see themselves as lesbians. The other group of women have always been attracted to women for a very long time but never had the guts to accept the fact that they are lesbians and never really gave themselves permission to act on these feelings. The self-confidence was later developed later in their lives.

The first emotion for a single lesbian in midlife is panic. Going to the bars to meet other women can be a horrifying experience. There are however other places and activities that allow lesbians to meet like –minded women. The internet offers a wealth of platforms to meet other lesbians.

Middle aged lesbians tend to be more selective as they want to avoid another short term relationship. Is as much as there is the need and desire to share their lives with someone else, experience has thought middle aged lesbians to patiently wait for Ms. Right than to get involve in a relationship destined to fail.

A very surprising thing about midlife dating as regards lesbians is that it is quite easy to find a girlfriend. Unless a single lesbian decides to remain single, it takes a relatively short time to get a partner. This might be due to the fact that women are more emotional, intense, and passionate when it comes to intimate relationships. Lesbians, especially the older ones however prefer to remain single until the right match comes in order to avoid the relationship burning out in little time.

Other dating adventures seem unchanged but experience has thought middle aged lesbians on how to make the best of choices.

A very common mistake among middle aged lesbians is the rush to find someone to date. This can be devastating and lesbians should rather work on being happy and self-dependent and the ladies are sure to come calling. Suitors find confident and independent ladies more attractive than the desperate ones.

It can be a bit difficult for midlife lesbians to bounce back after a breakup and the best way to deal with this is to regularly hangout with buddies for a while. This helps get the swing back and eases the pathway for getting another relationship on the way.

Middle aged lesbians should not fret about finding a good catch. Indeed in the lesbian community, there are many singles in midlife that are good catches. The recycling process in the community ensures there are always eligible, mature women who have been there, done that, and are now ready for a steady, committed relationship.
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It can be very shocking to suddenly realise you are a lesbian in the later stages of your life; let’s say you are already 40. The somewhat lucky ones find like-minded folks and therefore seek out a relationship. This certainly involves having the first date with a woman and this might seem a bit weird being the first lesbian date.

There is really no need to worry as the concept remains the same. It is just two people meeting each other and learning more about each other in order to determine if they will be a second meeting and a possible long term one at that. For the first date however, parties need not think far of a long term or lifetime relationship as this might be too early and can put some pressure on both parties. Attraction might be instant, but love usually needs time and some kid of nurturing to grow. So if you enjoy the first date and all seems to be working well with both parties looking compatible, it might be giving the second date a try.

It is however advised that you be patient as the attraction on the first date might just be a flash that will possibly result in short lived and stormy affairs. So you might want to be patient and take it slow. Remember, an attraction does not necessarily guarantee compatibility.

Going back to the basics of first dates, asking for the date can be a trying process. Unlike in straight relationships where the man has to make the move, it is up to any of the parties to initiate the move. It is advisable you jump as the sooner you ask the better. This reduces the anxiety and the agonizing wait. It also helps you develop some confidence that will surely make the next invitation easier. The invitation should be as personal as possible and this can be done in person or on the phone.

There are no rules to whether you meet up each other or a party offering to pick up the other. If you want a nightcap, you might consider a pick up as this usually mean dropping off and even more.

It is advised that you do not go beyond your comfort zone on the first date. This is particularly true as regards expectations of sexual activity. Clearly state your limits and do not be afraid to state your feeling if you feel pressured. Do not pressurize your date either, it is simply bad manners.

There are also no rules regarding the party to handle the bills for the date. You can either split the bill or one of you pays. Either way, make sure you are cautious of obligation concerns and getting into a controlling relationship.

Always remind yourself of the primary goal of the first date – learning more about each other and testing your compatibility. Keep these points in mind and you can be rest assured of having a nice time.


Unlike some years back, women are becoming comfortable with accepting the fact that they have some very passionate feelings for other women. Lesbian women however face the daunting task of finding other like-minded women. This can be understood as the very busy schedule of most people especially the career women leave no chance to social activities talk less of socializing with other lesbians. Below are some of the best and easiest ways of meeting lesbians. They are a combination of online methods and real world places.

Probably the first point of call is online discussion forums and chat rooms specially dedicated to lesbians. A simple search on Google is sure to present various lesbian activity groups and social sites. After registration and becoming a member, one needs to be active on these forums and sites in order to get noticed by other lesbians and to also let the community know that it is a real serious person and not just a robot. You share your photos and update your profile.

The internet remains the best way of meeting a fellow lesbian and it is for this reason lesbian dating sites come next on the list. There lesbian dating sites online that provide a great platform for lesbians to meet other women either for a serious relationship or a one night stand. Just like in internet forums and group discussions, one needs a very good profile to meet other lesbians. It might take some time to get the “perfect” match but it will surely worth every second you have waited for.

Gay and lesbian bars present a good location to find lesbian women. It provides an opportunity to socialize and speak with women that understand and speak the language of the lesbian community. It is probably the best way to meet up with a lesbian in real world situations. Most cities and towns have a couple of these bars somewhere around, you only have to find them. Check out the activities of these bars and show up when something of interest will be going down and you can have fun and meet other lesbians.

The church provides another opportunity to meet up with other lesbians. This definitely sounds weird, but a community that has a welcoming congregation almost certainly means the church welcomes lesbians and gays. Some of these churches include The United Church of Christ and Unitarian Universalist Churches among others. If a committed relationship is what you want, the church is probably the best place to meet lesbian women.

Other places to meet lesbian women are lesbian social groups in the community, local gay publications, and social networking sites.

These are just some of the best places to meet lesbians. They are in no particular order so you can explore and have fun with the most suitable places.